Comments on knitting blogs

Oh dear. Marilyn invited some of her more outspoken friends to nominate a topic for her 'open mike' feature, and they put forward the following:

Is anybody else sick unto death of the various oh-so-veddy-cool bloggers who are all coming out with new (probably mostly unreadable) books and their entirely too self-congratulatory entries about all the Famous Knitters they hobnobbed with at TNNA and the book expo?

I thought this was an amusing topic, perhaps because I do think that there are lots of people out there who have got books deals through their blogs whose books I wouldn't read in a pink fit. (For example, I tried to read Crazy Aunt Purl for a while, but I got sick of reading how much alcohol she drank, looking at pictures of her cats, and waiting for her to post something about knitting. I guess I'm out of the demographic.) But then, most books that are published aren't of much interest to me. I think that's true for most people - you read what you're interested in. And if you do get a book deal you can expect to be critiqued, criticised and just plain envied; if you can't stand the heat you know where the door out of the kitchen is.

Stephanie is discussing treating knitting blogs like a neighbourhood BBQ. Well, I don't think they're quite the same, but we won't worry about that for now; I think that generally she's right. She has (of course) hundreds of supportive comments, but I think the most worrying is the one that says "The words that you say should pass three tests: they should be true, they should be necessary, and they should be kind. If they fail to pass these criteria, then they should remain unspoken (or unwritten, as the case may be)." Let's deconstruct that for a moment...

• true: my truth could, to you, be a horrible lie. And if taken seriously, no Great Works of Literature would ever have been written
• necessary: I hate to break it to the knitternet, but there isn't a single knitting blog that's necessary. In fact, although it's probably quite useful that the laws of the land are written down, almost all other writing could be deemed unneccessary for most people. See also the point about Great Works above. (Is art necessary? Discuss.)
• kind: this is just silly. I have sometimes thought I was being kind to someone, and they have been horribly insulted, and vice versa. See also the point above about Great Works.

I don't think it's funny or clever to make mean or spiteful comments about people in blog comments or on blogs, or to allow your commenters to do so. I have written about this before. But I do think that anything you write or publish on a blog is fair game, as is anything else you publish. (And, yes, that includes this post.) In that vein I have to share with you an email I received this morning:

This is a reminder that the comments people leave on MY blog have absolutely NOTHING to do with you. Kindly refrain from contacting my commenters/friends and asking them to explain themselves to you regarding our SnB. No-one owes you an explanation. Further, if you don't like my content - or that of my commenters - UNSUBSCRIBE. Simple really.

Nora

This is really funny for a number of reasons:

• the comment I followed up was linked to a blog with an email address, which I used
• the question I asked was about a new local SnB which had been discussed on the blog - hardly a secret
• I don't subscribe to either of these blogs. My subs are at bloglines and they're public; anyone can read them. I do check in from time to time to see what Nora's up to, but I can't remember what the other blog was
• finally, and this made me laugh out loud, who thinks they can tell another adult whom they are allowed to send emails to? I think that someone who puts their email address on their blog is capable of either ignoring unwanted emails or replying to emails themselves. Why would someone else take this on?

And that's this morning on the knitternet. Never a dull moment.

Update:  An email informs me that I am intimidating, harrassing and threatening people by writing here. Who'da thunk it? Looks like I really am the Godmother of Sydney knitting. Now, where did I put those concrete overshoes?

Comments

[Nora]

Oh, dear! M-H, I wish you would print the truth and not your heavily edited version of events. Further, I'd prefer if you didn't "check in from time to time to see what Nora is up to" but of course, you're free to do as you please... YAWN.

[M-H]

The truth? Nora, I cut-and-pasted your email. How true do you want? And yes, I am free to do what I want, and that includes doing my bit to keep your hits up.

[Nora]

Ha! Cut and paste? Is that what you call it? Why don't you mention the THREE commenters you got in touch with re their comments on my blog? And as for keeping my hits up, don't make me laugh. Like I said, YAWN!!

[Kate]

Wow - what's in the cyber water these days? I read the Marylin/Stephanie topic on both blogs and there's enough material there (and here) for several thesis (ii??) on blog social dynamics. I do think that the weblog as private diary theory has been well and truly busted though and that goes for the comments as well. I was fascinated to see the comments on Marylin's post twist into an internal dialogue worthy of the worst Knit List flame wars. Watching with morbid interest (and trying to keep my head down).

[Jonathan Shaw]

I'm shocked, shocked, that knitters could be so nasty to each other. Oh wait, remember the tricoteuses at the guillotine. Things have been getting better over the long haul.

[Carson]

This is better than The B & B
so then what happened?

[katharine]

If only I had the time for this kind of negativity.

You've got to wonder, why is it people are supposed to be nicer online than elsewhere? You can't pretend this kind of behaviour is isolated to blogs. We're ot all friends, just people who happen to knit.

Keep knitting, I'll keep checking in.

[wondering from across the sea]

Nora is the most lovely blogger. Why could you possibly want to harass her or email her readers? And as for keeping her hits up, she appears to get many, many hundreds a day already.

[M-H]

Thanks, 'wondering from across the sea' (aka anon). It's nice to hear from a real sample of Nora's readership. I'm sorry that you didn't understand, but the bit about keeping her hits up was a joke. I know how many hits she gets - she talks about it often.

[Nora]

Do I?? I don't recall talking to you about anything, least of all my readership. Another lie. Keep 'em coming M-H.

[M-H]

I meant in your private emails, Nora. All those ones we've been exchanging so we could get to know each other better. As for lies, as I pointed out to you, if three people have told you I emailed them after finding them in your comments, two of them are lying. I sent one innocuous email to one person with a publicly-listed email addresss (it's in her blogger profile, if she wants to remove it), asking her a simple question. That's not bullying, that's networking.

[Nora]

M-H, the only person lying here is YOU and the only thing we've discussed is my request for you to STOP emailing my readers.