Years ago, when the earth and I were young, it was the trendy lezzo thing to do to call yourself after a natural feature, like River, or Sark - no, really, I did know someone who'd changed her name from Ruth to Sark. Also someone who changed her name from Meryl to Biff, and two people who changed their name to River - one first name and one last name. Live and let live. But I had thought that maybe I could become Macrocarpa HedgeWort. Wouldn't have to change my initials, and evokes the dark, impenetrable and prickly, which was how I felt about myself at the time.
No more: as an older woman (that 60th is now only one calendar month away). I think the most appropriate moniker for me would be Helena Handbasket, to reflect where the world is going. And while I'm out here, would you kids GET OFF MY LAWN!!!